Sentimental

All my life I have been on of those people who gets sappy when one chapter ends and another begins. Don't get me wrong, I am excited to become a Sophomore in college and to have a new year ahead of me, full of possibilities. But at the same time I can't shake the feeling of that utter sadness that the roommates I had this year will be different when I return. I will be in the same apartment as this past year, and I keep thinking, "Oh, when I return they'll all still be there, same as when I left this past May. It was just a break." But it's not a break, and yes I know that I will still see them, but it's not the same. I love pictures to remember the moments, I'm sappy and get emotional at farewells. So to live in the same apartment, without the same people will be weird to say the least. I know change is good, but I don't want things to change, sure we had our roommate disagreements, but what roommates don't argue at some point. I got extremely lucky with who I roomed with, it could of been terrible, but luckily after living with them for almost a year, they have grown to be people I can depend on and close friends of mine that I confide in. I'll miss being able to walk out of my room and into theirs and say whatever, now I'll have to call or text them to come visit me, or make a night out for all of us to catch up during. I don't know, growing up sucks sometimes, not even the responsibility, but the change. The change of how relationships shift around you, and how fragile they are, or how strong, because now I guess it will mean more when we all get together. I know in some way I am probably being silly, that I should look at this a good thing, which on some level I do. I know it's good to have a break for a little bit and that I have more options to do stuff with since I don't live with them then we may go out and do more, since before we could just walk down the hall. I guess I will find out how it goes, I know it will be fine, I do, but I still know that I will miss living with them. I will be sad to close one chapter to begin another.

2012

Wow, so I haven't written a new post in a very long time, but as a little personal update I am now in my second semester of college in my freshman year. In fact this is going to be an upcoming third week in my spring classes. College is so different from high school, more than just in classes, the atmosphere is so different as well. It's hard to believe that just last year I was finding out what schools I was accepted to and what institution I would be spending the next part of my journey on. I have met so many new people here and encountered so many late night conversations about literally anything that happened to occur. If someone asked me to explain the experience of college into words, I just don't know if it would be possible. So much happens at once. For me I am living in an apartment near campus instead of in a dorm, but regardless I have met different people that are neighbors and live down the hall. I have met professors that teach in a way that is so different from high school, in my opinion it's probably better than high school on levels but many could disagree.

It's exciting that with the completion of each semester I become so much closer to my goal of wanting to teach, its so close that it's almost in reach, and that is definately a different feeling. Before you could always say well I have quite a bit of time, I don't need to picture it yet, but with more than just occupation, life in general is just around the corner. A conversation that was had in my apartment with my roommates and neighbors, the topic of marriage was brought up and they were right, that is a possibility. The people we are all meeting now, could be that potential person and to me that is just crazy. You always imagine what it's like to grow up and be in the "real world" but when it's just beyond the door all you have to do is open it, that's when it suddenly becomes so real. It's hard to imagine that in ten years the people that I know, and myself included could possibly have the chance of being in a relationship or marriage, settled down, with a family. It's getting serious and I'm not quite sure how I feel about this yet, it leaves me with a somewhat uneasy feeling, because even though it is something everyone wants, when it gets here, you kind of wish that it was still farther away. However, it is time to start watching and taking the reins, instead of someone else controlling that path and the responsibility.

Leaving the Nest

It's June 16th and only two months until Fall Semester in college begins..wow, college. I don't know about other Seniors in the world but it is hard to believe that Senior year and graduation is over and now in the middle between highschool and college. When your small you always wish to be older, to be 13, then 16, then 18. Each time you can't wait to be a little older. Now being guilty of that myself sitting and looking back on the last 18 years of my life is hard to believe. 20's used to seem so far away and now they are only two..And college? well thats a mere less than 100 days for those people who are counting. It's a freeing feeling to know you are moving out and moving away to go to college, even if it is only two hours away, but even then it is wierd to think that everyone, everything, even the four walls that you have grown up in won't be the place you lay you head down at night. It'll be the place you have to drive to go visit, instead of waking up every  morning within those four walls. I'm sure so many people can't wait to be out of their houses, away from the parents they sware are ruining their lives, or away from the people they just can't wait to leave in the dust. But what I think those people are going to find out is just how much they miss when they leave, and just how different things are. I've noticed it with little things, getting mail addressed to me from a school, when normally it was to my parents. Having the place I'm going to live for the next year dealing with me, calling my phone and not my parents. As we take that step into a place that we are bound to learn more than we have in the past, we learn how to handle more of the stuff in our own lives as well. It's a strange feeling wanting to leave and being excited about the whole new adventure that lays in front, but wanting to stay to what is familar at the same time. Some may think I'm crazy but I don't think I'll ever be fully 100% ready to leave the nest..not just yet anyway.