The Parallels in Life

Hello Everyone,

I am sorry that it has been awhile since I have wrote any blog posts. I came on my blog today and realized just how long I have had this thing. I started out as a high school senior writing this blog for my English class assignments. Now I am a COLLEGE senior, which is beyond weird to say to me. But that means it has been nearly four years since I first designed and created this blog. I have to say that is quite impressive and sad. I don’t think I would have ever imagined just how much would change, and stay the same in four years. My senior year in high school was a separating experience for me. I didn’t feel like I should be in high school anymore and I really didn’t want to be. Sure I love to learn, but the atmosphere, I was quite over that. I never cared what party to go to or how much I should drink, I just liked learning and that was the only thing I appreciated about that year. Now four years later, I have to say it seems the same but different. I remember growing up and everyone saying that you will meet the friends you will have for forever in college, and I am here to say that isn’t necessarily true. College is an atmosphere and unless you fit into it for four years that isn’t guaranteed. With maturity and age it makes me sad to think of the people I was once so close with, who know my everyday things, and now I barely see and barely talk to. I know this happens, but I think it sucks more when once again you don’t fit that atmosphere. This past May I turned 21, which is like the holy grail of birthdays in college. Everyone goes to the bars and you drink an incredible amount of alcohol, but once again that isn’t my scene or my taste. So where do I fit into the college atmosphere if everyone I know is doing exactly that for their birthday. The answer? I don’t. I am lucky to be in a career path/major that is more family oriented. In fact, I have had this conversation with my roommate tons of times that education majors are most likely to be engaged already, already married, or have been in a long term relationship with someone and don’t plan on being single soon. This atmosphere I do fit. I fit into the idea that I want to get married, and have a family, but I want that at home, not in College Park. So even if I make all these friends, the probability of me seeing them again is low, because who is going to travel all the way to where I live, just to have lunch (probably just my roommate, but she is an exception). So I face going into another senior year, and again it is like a separating. I go through the education and the motions to get to the other side to move to the next chapter. It happens for everyone, but I guess mine will be sooner rather than later.

Sentimental

All my life I have been on of those people who gets sappy when one chapter ends and another begins. Don't get me wrong, I am excited to become a Sophomore in college and to have a new year ahead of me, full of possibilities. But at the same time I can't shake the feeling of that utter sadness that the roommates I had this year will be different when I return. I will be in the same apartment as this past year, and I keep thinking, "Oh, when I return they'll all still be there, same as when I left this past May. It was just a break." But it's not a break, and yes I know that I will still see them, but it's not the same. I love pictures to remember the moments, I'm sappy and get emotional at farewells. So to live in the same apartment, without the same people will be weird to say the least. I know change is good, but I don't want things to change, sure we had our roommate disagreements, but what roommates don't argue at some point. I got extremely lucky with who I roomed with, it could of been terrible, but luckily after living with them for almost a year, they have grown to be people I can depend on and close friends of mine that I confide in. I'll miss being able to walk out of my room and into theirs and say whatever, now I'll have to call or text them to come visit me, or make a night out for all of us to catch up during. I don't know, growing up sucks sometimes, not even the responsibility, but the change. The change of how relationships shift around you, and how fragile they are, or how strong, because now I guess it will mean more when we all get together. I know in some way I am probably being silly, that I should look at this a good thing, which on some level I do. I know it's good to have a break for a little bit and that I have more options to do stuff with since I don't live with them then we may go out and do more, since before we could just walk down the hall. I guess I will find out how it goes, I know it will be fine, I do, but I still know that I will miss living with them. I will be sad to close one chapter to begin another.