And they lived happily ever after...or did they?

I have always been one of those girls who loved fairy tales and romantic chick flick movies where the guy is unbelievably sweet and treats the girl like a princess, for no reason at all other than because he wants to. I never thought this was possible to exist or that it would even happen, I also hoped that in some way it would. Little things are always more important to me than big grand gestures, but buying me things for no reason, and showing me how you care and taking what I love and incorporating that is all I could ever ask for, in fact it would be more than I would ever ask for.

Before I tell you where this is going I need to also tell you something else about myself, and that is that my parents have alwaays paid for everything. What do I mean by this? Well whenever I would go out to dinner with family members or their friends or anything they would never let any pay, in fact I became the one to steal the check from the other party if it came down to it. To add to this fact my grandparents are the same way, when my mom used to pay my poppop for babysitting me during the week she would have to hide the money on his fridge and then we had to run so that he couldn't try and give it back to her becuase it would object to the amount she had left.

So now to why this all matters, my boyfriend is the greatest gentleman ever, the only problem? I don't know how to play the typical "princess". For examples he ALWAYS pays, it doesn't matter where or what or when I'm not allowed. I get that it makes him feel like a man and blah blah blah, but always?! No he works hard I should be able to pay sometimes or help or something. He holds the door open for me, in fact will give me a look if I try and beat him to the door, and he is determined to "spoil me." To what I have told him is that I do not need such things and he merely responds, well it is what I want to do, I like to give gifts.

So today his latest idea is to ask me what my favorite kind of jewelry is, which is already a red flag that flies into the air when I read this. What is he planning especially so close to his own BIRTHDAY!

Many people who will read this I am sure will just say SHH and be happy, take it in because it won't last or because not every guy is like that, and believe me I know and I do appreciate it, but my thing is what am I supposed to do to make him feel like I put in just as much as he does. Is it possible to have the fairytale? And do I just need to get over it and let him do these things for me?

Who would have ever thought that a girl who loves all the romantic fairytale stuff would basically get that and have no idea on what to do and how to handle it..

Fairytales should of fixed this problem in them as well..

I don't get it

I just don't understand. I feel like I do a lot for people I care about. I wouldn't judge them, you can yell at me and yell at me and I'll forgive you, and if you are family...there's nothing I wouldn't do for you..I have been here for you for the last two years more than ANYONE else. I have kept your secrets, talked to you on the phone for hours telling you it wasn't you. But you can tell me that I don't care at ALL? That you put in so much effort and don't get ANYTHING out of it? Are you kidding me? Really?

I just don't understand..
What do I do to always get this response.. I have my stuff together relatively all the time. I crack like anyone else does, but usually handle it on my own pretty well. But I need someone and I don't get it. EVER. They always find something and can't help. All I ask is to be able to have someone there for me at any moment, no matter what. Not on their time not on their agenda. I just don't get how I can be there for someone so whole heartedly be sooo patient with them and understand and explain to others when they want to give up. Sacrifice if I had to and do ANYTHING but I somehow manage to not get the same respect I give to others or the same patience or same rules. I get judged, yelled at, ignored, things I could never do to someone I love. No matter how mad I am at them. I want to stop being the mature one and be at an age when people grow up and realize treating me like that sucks and isn't fair. Even if i forgive you doesn't mean i deserved to be treated that way. I'm not a doormat you can just walk over, it still hurts and I don't appreciate it.

I just want this to stop happening..