Sentimental

All my life I have been on of those people who gets sappy when one chapter ends and another begins. Don't get me wrong, I am excited to become a Sophomore in college and to have a new year ahead of me, full of possibilities. But at the same time I can't shake the feeling of that utter sadness that the roommates I had this year will be different when I return. I will be in the same apartment as this past year, and I keep thinking, "Oh, when I return they'll all still be there, same as when I left this past May. It was just a break." But it's not a break, and yes I know that I will still see them, but it's not the same. I love pictures to remember the moments, I'm sappy and get emotional at farewells. So to live in the same apartment, without the same people will be weird to say the least. I know change is good, but I don't want things to change, sure we had our roommate disagreements, but what roommates don't argue at some point. I got extremely lucky with who I roomed with, it could of been terrible, but luckily after living with them for almost a year, they have grown to be people I can depend on and close friends of mine that I confide in. I'll miss being able to walk out of my room and into theirs and say whatever, now I'll have to call or text them to come visit me, or make a night out for all of us to catch up during. I don't know, growing up sucks sometimes, not even the responsibility, but the change. The change of how relationships shift around you, and how fragile they are, or how strong, because now I guess it will mean more when we all get together. I know in some way I am probably being silly, that I should look at this a good thing, which on some level I do. I know it's good to have a break for a little bit and that I have more options to do stuff with since I don't live with them then we may go out and do more, since before we could just walk down the hall. I guess I will find out how it goes, I know it will be fine, I do, but I still know that I will miss living with them. I will be sad to close one chapter to begin another.

2012

Wow, so I haven't written a new post in a very long time, but as a little personal update I am now in my second semester of college in my freshman year. In fact this is going to be an upcoming third week in my spring classes. College is so different from high school, more than just in classes, the atmosphere is so different as well. It's hard to believe that just last year I was finding out what schools I was accepted to and what institution I would be spending the next part of my journey on. I have met so many new people here and encountered so many late night conversations about literally anything that happened to occur. If someone asked me to explain the experience of college into words, I just don't know if it would be possible. So much happens at once. For me I am living in an apartment near campus instead of in a dorm, but regardless I have met different people that are neighbors and live down the hall. I have met professors that teach in a way that is so different from high school, in my opinion it's probably better than high school on levels but many could disagree.

It's exciting that with the completion of each semester I become so much closer to my goal of wanting to teach, its so close that it's almost in reach, and that is definately a different feeling. Before you could always say well I have quite a bit of time, I don't need to picture it yet, but with more than just occupation, life in general is just around the corner. A conversation that was had in my apartment with my roommates and neighbors, the topic of marriage was brought up and they were right, that is a possibility. The people we are all meeting now, could be that potential person and to me that is just crazy. You always imagine what it's like to grow up and be in the "real world" but when it's just beyond the door all you have to do is open it, that's when it suddenly becomes so real. It's hard to imagine that in ten years the people that I know, and myself included could possibly have the chance of being in a relationship or marriage, settled down, with a family. It's getting serious and I'm not quite sure how I feel about this yet, it leaves me with a somewhat uneasy feeling, because even though it is something everyone wants, when it gets here, you kind of wish that it was still farther away. However, it is time to start watching and taking the reins, instead of someone else controlling that path and the responsibility.

101 Lists

Lately I have found myself making list after list, one list for stuff I need yet to finish before I got to college, another list for the supplies for school, one list for the furniture for my room..you see how these lists are piling up! For some people lists are annoying and pointless, for me, I see them differently. If I can not actively accomplish things at a specific moment I make a list, I used it for school, and obviously I am using them now. Every new list I make I one, get to forget about something specific so I don't have to remember it by myself and two feel one step closer to college. My earlier post was of worrying about leaving the nest, which honestly is still there, but the atmosphere of college is sucking me in.

By now I have been to orientation, met one roommate, and facebooked others about our apartment in the fall, and with someone drawing my attention to the fact of only 32 days, a little over a month till move in day, I can't seem to get passed the excitement. Excitement of everything, new classes, new people, new place. Don't get me wrong, I am sure that after a week the excitement will wash away and the realization of leaving home will hit me, but as for right now I can't wait. To tell you the truth I can't wait to be in classes again as well. Something about college classes seems new and intriguing, I am hoping that I am right. I do not know for sure where college shall take me in the next month, and I am sure my nights will be late as I have a weakness for procrastination, but I am glad that I am finally making a step towards my career and the rest of my life. So for now I will continue my 101 lists and getting supplies for school, until eventually I have no choice but to put it all in boxes and drive to my new home.