Education

I don’t think that someone could of convinced me that after being in school for thirteen years of my life that I would come to college and decide that education is one of the hardest things to define and that the way education is headed is a nightmare and almost makes me scared.

 

To preface everyone on why I am making this statement, let me first begin that I am in the midst of taking philosophy in education and an education class where you go into the field for three hours at a public elementary school. Another fun fact you should know to understand my dilemma is the fact that I went to a private school for K-12. So I am not sure if the tests that I took, or the lack thereof, are due to my county or due to the fact that I went to a private school for elementary school.

Part of the main components to my education class that has a field component is to interview teachers, art instructors, principals, anyone really to observe as much as I possibly can about the school system from a perspective other than a student. I have to say that I am APPALLED by the fact that we put so much emphasis on all of these tests. 

I know that I don’t really use cursive anymore unless I am trying to be fancy, but what do you mean you don’t teach cursive anymore!?! At least I am capable of doing it if I have to, like how are you going to sign your name?? I also completely understand why half of the people in college don’t know how to write essays (something that I had drilled into me before I even entered high school). There are so many things that are being cut out of a school day because it doesn’t benefit the students in order to take tests, well that is all fine and dandy until they get to the part of schooling, particularly college, and you aren’t taught the same way anymore, you have to think for yourself, be creative and above all write ESSAYS!  

I may be in the minority or the majority when I say these things I am not really sure, but I can say with 100% confidence that I wouldn’t be the same student if I hadn’t been to private school for all those years. I feel that I am better-rounded and can think for myself better than some of my peers who only know how to regurgitate information. It saddens me that this country, one that prides itself on freedom and “Democracy” has such a poor educational system. Did you know that we are being outperformed by a ridiculous number of countries that I think is 44. 44 countries are BETTER than the United States, and how is the US deciding to fix this? Give more tests and make teacher salaries based off of these tests, one teacher I talked to said that Maryland is even trying to make a teacher only be guaranteed half of their salary, that’s right HALF of their salary until the results on the tests come in and then depending on performance may or may not get the rest of their salary. I am sorry but what kind of incentive are you giving teachers to TEACH your children, your pride and joy the FUTURE of this country. You want all of your children to grow up and be successful yet you don’t provide teachers the opportunity to do so, and whose fault is that if little Sally can’t do something or little Sally is doing badly? The teachers. The fact that majority of the public would say it is the TEACHERS fault just irritates me. Yes I know there are those teachers who don’t help the stereotype but it isn’t an “easy job” to do. Shoot I feel like if all of those people who say teachers are the problem had to teach for a year and saw what it takes and what goes into it to actually perform and have some kind of positive result they would be whistling a different tune. But in fact the people who decide what should happen to education are those who are ignorant to what it really needs, and these are the people that we put in charge to make decisions…

 

 

Sentimental

All my life I have been on of those people who gets sappy when one chapter ends and another begins. Don't get me wrong, I am excited to become a Sophomore in college and to have a new year ahead of me, full of possibilities. But at the same time I can't shake the feeling of that utter sadness that the roommates I had this year will be different when I return. I will be in the same apartment as this past year, and I keep thinking, "Oh, when I return they'll all still be there, same as when I left this past May. It was just a break." But it's not a break, and yes I know that I will still see them, but it's not the same. I love pictures to remember the moments, I'm sappy and get emotional at farewells. So to live in the same apartment, without the same people will be weird to say the least. I know change is good, but I don't want things to change, sure we had our roommate disagreements, but what roommates don't argue at some point. I got extremely lucky with who I roomed with, it could of been terrible, but luckily after living with them for almost a year, they have grown to be people I can depend on and close friends of mine that I confide in. I'll miss being able to walk out of my room and into theirs and say whatever, now I'll have to call or text them to come visit me, or make a night out for all of us to catch up during. I don't know, growing up sucks sometimes, not even the responsibility, but the change. The change of how relationships shift around you, and how fragile they are, or how strong, because now I guess it will mean more when we all get together. I know in some way I am probably being silly, that I should look at this a good thing, which on some level I do. I know it's good to have a break for a little bit and that I have more options to do stuff with since I don't live with them then we may go out and do more, since before we could just walk down the hall. I guess I will find out how it goes, I know it will be fine, I do, but I still know that I will miss living with them. I will be sad to close one chapter to begin another.

Vunerability

Now being a 19 year old and about to enter into my Sophomore year in college, I wonder if making oneself vulnerable ever gets any easier. I wonder if it is just me or if others in this world have the same problems. Sometimes I get the courage to say something that I would otherwise keep to myself, a thought that when put out into reality could be used against me or worse taken and hurt me, but then panic for however long it takes for a response. I don't know maybe it is a stupid fear that teenagers or shy people feel because they worry about what others think, or maybe that is just me. But for whatever reason it always takes me forever to get to the point where what I have to say or think or feel about something gets hushed till I'm comfortable with it. One of the best examples is probably in school/classes. In highschool it took me a couple of weeks to feel comfortable between the teacher and the students in my class before I decided that sharing my thoughts on something was important, and now in college it's no different. I still do the same thing only now it's probably worse, because classes are HUGE some with a hundred some students just doesn't make me feel comfortable with sharing my opinions. In addition to the size the classs is for a lot less weeks than a class in highschool so there goes that too. The sad thing is I do this with people around me too, I'll be afraid to share my feelings in fear of rejection or something thinking it's stupid or I don't know. So I guess what I'm hoping is that this annoying aspect will eventually cease or I get over worrying what someone else thinks and decide if they don't like it tooo bad cause this is how I am..hmm I dont know.

2012

Wow, so I haven't written a new post in a very long time, but as a little personal update I am now in my second semester of college in my freshman year. In fact this is going to be an upcoming third week in my spring classes. College is so different from high school, more than just in classes, the atmosphere is so different as well. It's hard to believe that just last year I was finding out what schools I was accepted to and what institution I would be spending the next part of my journey on. I have met so many new people here and encountered so many late night conversations about literally anything that happened to occur. If someone asked me to explain the experience of college into words, I just don't know if it would be possible. So much happens at once. For me I am living in an apartment near campus instead of in a dorm, but regardless I have met different people that are neighbors and live down the hall. I have met professors that teach in a way that is so different from high school, in my opinion it's probably better than high school on levels but many could disagree.

It's exciting that with the completion of each semester I become so much closer to my goal of wanting to teach, its so close that it's almost in reach, and that is definately a different feeling. Before you could always say well I have quite a bit of time, I don't need to picture it yet, but with more than just occupation, life in general is just around the corner. A conversation that was had in my apartment with my roommates and neighbors, the topic of marriage was brought up and they were right, that is a possibility. The people we are all meeting now, could be that potential person and to me that is just crazy. You always imagine what it's like to grow up and be in the "real world" but when it's just beyond the door all you have to do is open it, that's when it suddenly becomes so real. It's hard to imagine that in ten years the people that I know, and myself included could possibly have the chance of being in a relationship or marriage, settled down, with a family. It's getting serious and I'm not quite sure how I feel about this yet, it leaves me with a somewhat uneasy feeling, because even though it is something everyone wants, when it gets here, you kind of wish that it was still farther away. However, it is time to start watching and taking the reins, instead of someone else controlling that path and the responsibility.

101 Lists

Lately I have found myself making list after list, one list for stuff I need yet to finish before I got to college, another list for the supplies for school, one list for the furniture for my room..you see how these lists are piling up! For some people lists are annoying and pointless, for me, I see them differently. If I can not actively accomplish things at a specific moment I make a list, I used it for school, and obviously I am using them now. Every new list I make I one, get to forget about something specific so I don't have to remember it by myself and two feel one step closer to college. My earlier post was of worrying about leaving the nest, which honestly is still there, but the atmosphere of college is sucking me in.

By now I have been to orientation, met one roommate, and facebooked others about our apartment in the fall, and with someone drawing my attention to the fact of only 32 days, a little over a month till move in day, I can't seem to get passed the excitement. Excitement of everything, new classes, new people, new place. Don't get me wrong, I am sure that after a week the excitement will wash away and the realization of leaving home will hit me, but as for right now I can't wait. To tell you the truth I can't wait to be in classes again as well. Something about college classes seems new and intriguing, I am hoping that I am right. I do not know for sure where college shall take me in the next month, and I am sure my nights will be late as I have a weakness for procrastination, but I am glad that I am finally making a step towards my career and the rest of my life. So for now I will continue my 101 lists and getting supplies for school, until eventually I have no choice but to put it all in boxes and drive to my new home.

Leaving the Nest

It's June 16th and only two months until Fall Semester in college begins..wow, college. I don't know about other Seniors in the world but it is hard to believe that Senior year and graduation is over and now in the middle between highschool and college. When your small you always wish to be older, to be 13, then 16, then 18. Each time you can't wait to be a little older. Now being guilty of that myself sitting and looking back on the last 18 years of my life is hard to believe. 20's used to seem so far away and now they are only two..And college? well thats a mere less than 100 days for those people who are counting. It's a freeing feeling to know you are moving out and moving away to go to college, even if it is only two hours away, but even then it is wierd to think that everyone, everything, even the four walls that you have grown up in won't be the place you lay you head down at night. It'll be the place you have to drive to go visit, instead of waking up every  morning within those four walls. I'm sure so many people can't wait to be out of their houses, away from the parents they sware are ruining their lives, or away from the people they just can't wait to leave in the dust. But what I think those people are going to find out is just how much they miss when they leave, and just how different things are. I've noticed it with little things, getting mail addressed to me from a school, when normally it was to my parents. Having the place I'm going to live for the next year dealing with me, calling my phone and not my parents. As we take that step into a place that we are bound to learn more than we have in the past, we learn how to handle more of the stuff in our own lives as well. It's a strange feeling wanting to leave and being excited about the whole new adventure that lays in front, but wanting to stay to what is familar at the same time. Some may think I'm crazy but I don't think I'll ever be fully 100% ready to leave the nest..not just yet anyway.

College

Today while we had off at school and everyone was sleeping in I was waking up at 5:45 to get on the road to go to a Spring Open House for University of Maryland. Granted I am one of those people who knew what college they wanted to go to as they were applying, which is a huge advantage. When I went to the Fall open house I  basically knew I was going there and that I was going to major in elementary education. I wouldn't say there was an A-ha moment with University of Maryland the first time I heard about it or even got information on it, but I was definately excited after that fall open house and agreed that the education program was a great one. Today was like 200000x that feeling of excitement. Not only is there only like 40 some days left of my Senior year in highschool, I also got to learn more about the process that my Education major was going to take me in the next four years of my life. The open house started off with an introduction which had some musical entertainment of an acapela group called the "Faux paz" which I have to say were amazing. They were all extremely talented and performed with a lot of energy. Once the other parts of the day happened with the meetings and what not at the building for my major I was so ready to be there in classes, to be at college and living that lifestyle. I am so beyond excited to go to college after today that I can not even explain it, I don't even really want to go back to high school on Monday, even though I know I have to.

College is going to be an amazing experience, and I cant wait to be one of many new freshman as the Class of 2015 to be partaking in this experience in the fall. The feeling of taking classes that may be CORE but you have more options of and then doing classes that involve your intended major is so exciting. The atmosphere is so different than high school, and even though I will miss that part of my life, I can't wait to start my next journey.